Hi friends,

I have a very diverse collection and my friends know me as the "Jersey Guy." Recently, one of them asked me to explain what team has the most butt fugly jersey, ever. The catch was, I had to explain why it was ugly. Just saying "The logo is bland" wasn't enough. Saying "I hate the color scheme" didn't cut it. There had to be details! I had to practically give a dissertation. So I got to thinking, what team's uniform was so offensive that you had to pay people to look at it?

So, here are my top 5 with the detailed reasons why. You will notice a few things. Alternates are common. Yellow NEVER works. Feel free to disagree but if you do, you had better give me a much better answer. Without further ado, the un-fab 5.

5) The Nashville Predators Yellow Alternate. The logo was amazing as evidenced by the new navy version which looks incredible. The retired yellow one had several things wrong with it. First it was baby vomit yellow. Second it was cut like a football jersey in the neck and shoulders. It was one of the first tapered jerseys in the new NHL and the look was awful. The shirt had a diamond mesh type material and it was incredibly heavy. Did I mention it was BABY VOMIT YELLOW?

4) The Vancouver Canucks Yellow "V" Now, I am a Canucks fan and have been for decades. I LOVE the Black V jersey, my wife wears the Mitchell and Ness Tiger Williams jersey to every hockey game/sporting event. However, the Yellow flying "V" is overwhelming to the senses. I think it is a standing rule that all Yellow jerseys just never look good but adding black and orange in such violent stripes just assaults the eye. I sometimes wonder if they made the finals in 1982 because the opposition was busy getting dizzy and high just staring at these abominations.

3) California Golden Seals. Wow. Who approved the design of this jersey? Again, yellow rarely works for a jersey. The teal was just....off. The logo was just comically bad. You know how children draw a couple of lines and say "Here, this is a monkey" and you smile and think "no, it's not" Well that's what happened hear. It appears as if someone with no artistic ability attempted to draw a plane with a hockey stick falling out of it and then told everyone, "No, it's a seal. You know, bark! bark!. It's a seal, man. Really"

2) The Dallas Stars Mooterus. On paper, this jersey was cool: A cow constellation in stars. But from the beginning, this jersey was a train wreck. First it fell into the trap of being black, the most overdone color in sports. The red stripes detracted from the design and didn't match anything in the teams history. Then there was the design. Anytime you seemingly pay an OB-GYN to draw a woman's anatomy in connect the dots and call it a "bull", you aren't just stretching the truth, you are molesting it. No one was fooled and it became the biggest sex joke in hockey history. It would have been less obvious if they came with sewn in shoulder pads and a built in bra.

1) The Anaheim Mighty Ducks Wild Wing. Anytime you are owned by Disney and are based on a child's movie, the temptation to appeal to kiddies and make a marketable jersey for them is high. This jersey was wrong in more ways than any jersey in history. First of all the names and numbers looked like they were drawn on by a child. The cartoon duck bursting through the ice was dye sublimated which just makes it look... cheap. The teal color was unappealing and overall, insulting to behold by NHL fans.

Runners Up: a) The Carolina Hurricanes having the wrong nautical flag for a hurricane. b) The Kings having what appears to be a chefs hat for a crown. c) The hybrid Islanders jersey after the Fisherman jersey but before returning to the original design. It was a rip off of a Pepsi can with obscene and excessive colors. d) Sens current alt. Just bland and ugly yet boring all at once. "Sens" yeah.....no.

So that's it. If you have minor league teams that can beat these, feel free to post with pictures. If you think something from the NHL was worse, man I'd love to hear it.

You made a mistake in the description of the Preds jersey as the crest logo is different from what they use now. On the yellow jersey the tiger is turned forward while on their normal uniforms it's always shown in profile.

Besides that I agree with what you've said.

I also hate the current trend of having the city name and a number instead of having a crest. Awful.

The problem I have with coming up with a list of the ugliest jerseys is that many of the truly ugly ones are so bad that they fall into my category of "so bad that it's good."

Honorable mention?

If you go with the Flyers, you have to throw the Whalers in there too. Come on now, their pants were GREEN!! BLAH!

Cooperals! They were cool at one time. I wore them for a season, but that's when I was 10 years old too.

The key words being "at one time".

Exactly! If I still wore them people would try to kill me out there on the ice!

Oof...sounds like Jay is dating himself here...

I tend to do that from time to time.

Nothing wrong with "dating yourself" you can save a lot of money that way!

Seriously, I love these lists, but I think that an interesting issue is raised. Cooperalls were the 80's. The sublimated flying Pens and Fish stick Isles were cool in the 90's but are considered terrible now. The trends change and some become truly dated.
I agree that the city name and numbers and no crest look is a trend that cannot end soon enough. Ditto for silly nicknames "Sens" "Bolts" etc. Also Edge jerseys in general. (The minors are already going back to 6100's the writing is on the wall)

Count me in as somone who doesnt like the Bolts, Sens jersey stuff.

Can we count the St Louis Blues jersey that was never released that had the horns on it? that one was pretty bad

San Diego Padres Puke yellow era comes to mind, as does Montreal Expos Baby Blue (I know I'm in the minority on this one) and finally the putrid lime-green Seattle Seahawks alt...

Once I saw the Preds alt in person, I actually started to like it quite a bit. I love the fact that it is gold/yellow mesh with a navy layer underneath. It distorts the color of the yellow from a distance, but up close it looks awesome. I will agree the cut of the collar is weird being squared off.

To me the fugliest jerseys would be the LA "Burger King" and the Coyote's green alt.

I love the Cooperalls, that is all.

I loved the alternates that came out - the wildwing, burger king; bruins pooh bear; canucks salmon - I thought they definitely took risks and thought they looked great. I wish more teams would experiment today, as all the alternates play it safe and look generic - i.e. bolts; sens......and every alternate has the same circular logo (panthers, hawks, wild, pens) - however those do look good whereas writing the team's nickname does not - it's too colloquial.

I think the ugliest jerseys were the Canucks Yellow Skate jerseys; the mustard preds; and the St. Louis blues prototype jersey with the trumpets however the minors have had some ugly jerseys - does anyone remember the ronald mcdonald jerseys; the sherrif jerseys etc....

How about Dallas' alt jersey of the female reproductive system.

I actually use that image in one of the labs that I teach in a human sexuality class during the Winter terms...the undergrads get a kick out of that one....especially the mooterus name

Mom can we have fishsticks for dinner tonight??

Do not adjust your monitor, the jerseys are that damn ugly!